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Ninjas... they're after your children 
10:09pm 26/06/2008
  Apparently there was a "ninja" stalking an elementary school and hunting small children: "School locked down after 'ninja' sighted in woods."  As soon as I read it, I began to wonder where Vinnie was on Wednesday?  You see, I relate to these poor, scared little kids because my middle school in Florida went into a lockdown.  We only had silly little bank robbers running through our school though... lame.  Ninjas could totally kick bank robbers asses.  
these are a few of my favourite things 
10:37am 01/08/2007
mood: exultant
Magnificent jewels passed down as family heirlooms. A child's smile. Shooting stars. Birdsong at dawn. A butterfly landing to rest on your shoulder. The awkward steps of a kitten. A friend to talk to. A good cup of coffee. The oceanic feeling of the stars in the night sky, or of the ocean. Victory.

And then misery.

Death is glorious in its way; the bookends of all things

The Restless Pilgrim 
05:59pm 15/07/2007
  In the fullness of history there was born into the church of the Christ a believer who, as she did age, came to find her link to her idol hollow. She left her church, and did submit to the will of Allah. But submission did not fill the void she perceived within herself, and she next found herself among the Buddhists.

And so did it go next with the Unitarians, the Latter-Day Saints, and even unto the Sub-Genii. She one day came upon the fairest ones, and found St. Dwight Tat'm in prana-bindu meditation.

"Wise master teacher, long have I wandered, and naught have I found that wouldst bring surcease to the torment of my soul," the pilgrim said unto him, using that funny way of talking all people get in this kind of stories. "Would that I could settle in your temple and realize the truth in your ways."

St. Tatum opened one bloodshot eye (for he was pretty drunk and had double-vision, even though this was fairly early in the day, the profilgate), and he did speak unto her: "get the fuck outta here".

Herein wisdom lies. DYBT?
inspired by overheardinnewyork.com hatemail 
12:43pm 11/07/2007
  gentrification is the process of hunting the romantic memories of poets, looking for the beauty found in somebody else's eyes. The artist lives Here, Now, writes about what is seen, capturing that spirit we call the romantic; others read, stir, flock to the places describe, but they abandon their Here, and seek in vain past Nows. What we love is rare and fleeting and comes at you by surprise, so that it's already gone by the time word can get out--truly, look around you Here, pay attention Now, to find what is truly of value  
Insanity On The March 
02:57pm 22/06/2007
mood: *headdesk*

Agitators of African descent, including members of the National African-American Coalition of People (a shoestring-budget, in-mom's-basement organization if ever I've heard one; Google only points to this article concerning them) have seen the official nomenclature for black holes changed to the ultimately catchy 'Super High Gravity Locations'. Some have said that calling these awesome and destructive singularities 'black' is defamatory.

In related news, all persons of African descent are to be paid US$0.01 for each 'black' crayon Crayola sells.

I hereby call a protest against this nomenclature in all your published scientific works by sticking to the catchy term 'black holes' and not committing that bullshit to memory.
excellent community 
01:10am 25/04/2007
  wtf_omgz has some crazy-win-type things, bringing you the finest in Interweb time wasters. 80% down the main page now is an Alanis Morissette cover of "My Hump".

Even better than it sounds, actually.
We now have a wiki 
11:42pm 13/03/2007
mood: Cheshire
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12:15am 13/03/2007
  I just realized that Discordian popes can sell Discordian <i>indulgences</i>. I'm'a start selling indulgences for flaxscript, among other things..

Status report: the roommates and I have been adding helpful data to <a href="http://www.conservapedia.com">Conservapedia</a>.
11:45am 04/02/2007


Go 'way.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Proin vel nunc ut nisi volutpat cursus. Aliquam dignissim facilisis mi...
I object on the grounds that such frivolity can ill be afforded at this point in time.
I support erasing this community, but don't have the time/desire/understanding of how eljay community controls work/administrative access to erase it myself.
YES! Sign me up for one whole year's FREE subscription to Trafalmadorian's Digest, for all the latest recipes on mischief and chaos.
I'm proud. 
07:45pm 02/11/2006
mood: ambiguous
Kevin: "Okay, who took Tom's comb to cast voodoo spells on it?"

Tim: "I don't do voodoo."

Sid: "I didn't take Tom's comb."
11:43am 26/10/2006
  Good Ms. Desman thinks it 'gay' that I actually say things like 'oh my goddess'

Mother Kali loves a human sacrifice...
V is for Magic(k) 
03:58pm 24/10/2006
  If you oppose tyranny and value freedom, and if you wish to take part in a ritual that will return freedom to the United States, while banishing tyranny from its borders, please click here.

Spread the word, before it is too late. Post it on your journal. E-mail the link to friends. Get the word out however you can. Everyone who may want to participate should be made aware as soon as possible.

At the stroke of midnight on the Fifth of November, Justice returns to our great nation. May she stay long.
A Bit of Numerology -- abandoned incomplete 
03:06pm 10/10/2006
mood: inscrutable
In the quest for a third gender, I have discovered the forgotten 'truth' that it is the masculine.

It has been written that "the tao produced one, one produced two, two produced three, three produced the countless things." This does not fit very well with what I am about to say and should be ignored at best and removed from this post at worst.

Numerology has classically held that one is neither masculine nor feminine, but the Unity number; that two is feminine; that three is masculine and the number of the Father.

The Patriarchy has it that Man comes first, woman comes second. Third would be nonsensical crimethink.

As crimethink is butter to my bread, I would suggest that the first sex is neuter/spivak/eunuch/hermaphroditic/splunge.

It is worth noting that the yinyang was invented by Discordians, according to Discordians, and representing the feminine and masculine in this way is just another 23 gag.

The ancient Greeks (some of them) had it that mankind was first created as giant double things, which were divided into couples. The drive to mate/marry was seen under this gaze as the desire to reunite with one's soul's other half.

Those who tell the story of Eden have it that God produced Adam, from Adam was produced Eve, through Eve was produced Set, and Set fathered the Patriarchs of the Bible. "A man and a woman had a li'l baby, yes they did. There were three in the family, that's the magic number." Blind Melon was an Illuminist front.

*this part has been censored for y/our protection -- The Secret Chiefs*

An poem 
11:27pm 01/10/2006
  'Tween the angel and the devil and the deep blue sea
There is hardly any room on the rock for me
Then Discordja comes a-boatin' and she says, "You're Free
"From the angel and the devil and the deep blue sea"
Fliegende Kinderscheisse! 
12:39pm 25/09/2006
mood: FNORD
I checked Ms. Eris K. Discordia's facebook wall, and not until then did I notice that, as the planet Eris was named on 9/14, 9+14=23...

Gestern war die Welte, heute das Sonnensystem
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The Sandman Mastermind Quiz: it is cool. 
09:46pm 20/09/2006
  If you're a big geek.  
Yo ho ho 
08:58am 19/09/2006
  I just found out out that its Talk Like A Pirate Day mateys.  So start jabberin like a pirate, you scallywags, or I'll send you to the bottom of Davie Jones' locker, savvy?  Aaaaarrrr!  
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My brain calls Bucky Ms. Muffin! 
08:51am 17/09/2006
  This flash animation tries to show what ten dimensions looks like.  
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Thought on the nature of motions, for your consideration 
01:45pm 16/09/2006
  A body moving faster in space moves slower in time, the theory of relativity suggests. Similarly, I believe, one who moves faster in mind moves slower in action; encumbered by thoughts, one cannot flow unimpeded through one's full range of potential actions.

It is as Newton's 3rd law of motion, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction"; taken spiritually/socially/psychically (whichever misnomer you prefer), it is the law of Karma. The world occasionally finds itself written into people.

Hence, the theory of relativity argues for Zen :>
It's Christmas!.. Er, EmperorNortonmas. 
10:24am 14/09/2006
mood: irrationally exuberant
Largest known dwarf planet named Eris
By ALICIA CHANG, AP Science Writer
Wed Sep 13, 10:54 PM ET

LOS ANGELES - A distant, icy rock whose discovery shook up the solar system and led to Pluto's planetary demise has been given a name: Eris.

The christening of Eris, named after the Greek goddess of chaos and strife, was announced by the International Astronomical Union on Wednesday. Weeks earlier, the professional astronomers' group stripped Pluto of its planethood under new controversial guidelines.

Since its discovery last year, Eris, which had been known as 2003 UB313, ignited a debate about what constitutes a planet.

Astronomers were split over how to classify the object because there was no universal definition. Some argued it should be welcomed as the 10th planet since it was larger than Pluto, but others felt Pluto was not a full-fledged planet.

After much bickering, astronomers last month voted to shrink the solar system to eight planets, downgrading Pluto to a "dwarf planet," a category that also includes Eris and the asteroid Ceres.

Eris' discoverer, Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology, said the name was an obvious choice, calling it "too perfect to resist."

In mythology, Eris caused a quarrel among goddesses that sparked the Trojan War. In real life, Eris forced scientists to define a planet that eventually led to Pluto getting the boot. Soon after Pluto's dismissal from the planet club, hundreds of scientists circulated a petition protesting the decision.

Eris' moon also received a formal name: Dysnomia, the daughter of Eris known as the spirit of lawlessness.

Eris, which measures about 70 miles wider than Pluto, is the farthest known object in the solar system at 9 billion miles away from sun. It is also the third brightest object located in the Kuiper belt, a disc of icy debris beyond the orbit of Neptune.

Eris had been without a formal name while astronomers grappled over its status. Brown nicknamed it "Xena" after the fictional warrior princess pending an official designation. He admits the new name will take some getting used to.

"It's a little sad to see Xena go away," he said.
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